21 days… it will change you.

I feel as if I keep getting hit. Over and over again. The kind of hits that blow you backwards and have you gasping for breath.

I love every minute of it. I hate some of it. But mostly, I love it. God is really opening my eyes and challenging me.

Saturday night I went to Jerusalem Ministries monthly prayer meeting. I tutor my boy Han Wool at Namsanwon Children’s Home through this organization. The pastor who founded this ministry, John-Michael (also known as JM), shared a little bit on the history of Cambodia because we had sent four ladies there on a mission trip this past winter break. I was shocked. I had heard of the Killing Fields just this past year, but I didn’t know what they were.

Have you ever heard of Pol Pot? Until last Saturday, I had no idea who this man was. Now I know he is responsible for killing almost 1/4 of the population in Cambodia during the mid 1970s.

Right after the Vietnam War, Pol Pot had a vision for the nation to go back to the basics, where they ‘lived in harmony’ working the fields and eating off the land and having nothing else. He went in and split up the population in this way (to put it as basic and simple as possible from what I was told). If you were educated you went to the right, if you were not, you went to the left. If you had smooth hands, to the right. If you had calloused hands, to the left. If you wore glasses, to the right. If you went to University, to the right. The right side was destroyed, murdered, sent to death camps. Mostly they were executed and buried in large masses. These are what became known as the Killing Fields. Pol Pot wanted to get rid of all the intellectuals. He wanted what I have learned is called a “collectivist agrarian utopia”. Though I am not exactly sure what that means…

Here is a man, described to be worse than Hitler. And yet I have never heard of him. One reason (as JM explained) could be because Cambodia has nothing to offer the world, no natural resources, and so the powerhouse nations have ignored it because they gain nothing from them.


a picture from the mission trip to cambodia. took it from jy's fb, thanks girl!


What else don’t I know about this world? How can people like Pol Pot exist? I was really upset after Saturday night. Part of those hits I am experiencing, from the beginning of this post, I could label with one word: “empathy”. I am in anguish thinking about the people of Cambodia. I have never been so cold in my life this winter in Seoul and therefore want to weep when I think of the North Koreans, who are experiencing even colder temperatures and have no roofs over their heads. I want to mourn with all  of the mothers who have ever lost a baby, my heart is breaking.

And then, on Sunday, JM got up to preach at church, New Philadelphia , and what did he talk about? Love.

He focused on three of the words for love found in the Greek language (the New Testament was first written in Greek).

Eros (click on the word to read Websters definition)=selfish love (where the word erotic is derived from). The kind of love Hollywood is really good at portraying in movies. Satisfy yourself. Pornography. Prostitution. All Eros love. The word eros is mention zero times in the Bible. Yep, it is not mentioned even once.

Phileo= brotherly love. This word is used most often by the disciples in the Bible. You love someone as a friend, as a brother. When Jesus asks Peter if he loves him he responds with this word, “Jesus, you know I phileo you”. Jesus is searching for a different answer.

Agape= The way God loves. God’s love towards his son, Jesus. God’s love towards us. When we love with agape love, we are showing people God. Agape love is 1 Corinthians 13. Agape love is free, undemanding, unconditional. Agape love expects nothing in return. You. Just. Love. This is the kind of love we are called to give. It goes completely against human nature, the opposite of eros.

1 John 4:16 say “God is love” that word love, is agape. God is agape.

This message JM preached really helped me. The hits will keep coming, and I want them too… as long as I always remember that above all, God is good. He is Agape.

my 21 day fast is almost over. it was life changing.


4 thoughts on “21 days… it will change you.

  1. Melody! I’m so glad that you shared about your life changing fast and Cambodia~! I hope more people will know about the history of Cambodia and have a heart to serve the people there. 🙂

  2. Wow I have never heard about this man either! Reading this was in perfect time…God has been speaking to me about reading more about other countries and getting a bigger vision of what is going on in THE WORLD, and not just in the USA! It is great to hear that you were in unity with the The Point church in the 21 day fast!!! It was life changing for me as well!!! Deepened my relationship with God in so many ways!!!

  3. I appreciate this post, as i am cambodian. I also think about north korea whenever i think about pol pot & how very close to the truth it is that these 2 countries have nothing to offer the mega powers & so their ppl’s plight will be largely ignored. Thank you for posting this.

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