She’s 32 and Single. There Must Be Something Wrong With Her.

I recently saw a video on social media where a man stated, “My father has a rule. And I am not saying that this rule is accurate. But just look at your life and apply it, and see if it is accurate, gentlemen. My father told me that if a woman is over 32, has never been married, never had any kids, there is something wrong with her.” The room went into an uproar at his words. “I am not saying it’s right and I am not saying it’s incorrect… every time I have applied this rule, it has been accurate.”

If you are a single woman, in your early 30s, and love the Lord— like me— then you have probably heard, at least once, that when you are happy being single and need no one else but Jesus in your life, that’s when the man of your dreams will show up. Just when you weren’t looking for him.

I don’t think my girlfriends, because yes I have heard this multiple times, meant to imply that for the past 13 years (since my last serious boyfriend) I haven’t been happy. They were sharing their story. For them, this was their reality. For them, this was their truth. But just because it is true for one single lady who meets a man when she is least expecting it just after she is at peace with being single, doesn’t mean it will happen for everyone. Can I be real? I wish people would stop perpetuating the lie that there is something wrong with being single in your thirties. Especially, in the church. Because when you hear a lie often enough, you start to believe it.

The video went on with a reply from an older woman. She took the microphone with authority, looked directly at the man and said, “Tell your daddy (loud cheers from the crowd) that if you find a woman that is 32 years old, doesn’t have any kids, never been married… Tell your daddy, that she’s educated and that she is planning to make financial decisions so that she can afford the children that she has and send them to college. Instead of having them standing at the bus stop, she can drive a Lexus to work. Tell your daddy, that the woman is a boss.”

I smiled after I saw watched this video. And then I watched it again. I think it gave me a longer pause, made me stop and reflect, because I am 32 years old. I thought about my life and immediately began composing a paragraph in my head of what I would write in response to this video if I was the commenting type. It went something like this:

I am debt free. No student loans. No credit card debt. I have my masters in Education. I’ve taught children all over the world on two different continents outside my homeland. I have lived in four different countries. I’ve traveled to 25 countries. I have built friendships with people across the world and kept those friendships going strong even after years of living in different places. I have learned how to ask for forgiveness and help and how to share my faith again and again and again. But oh… right. There must be something wrong with me because I am not married.

I’ve been thinking about this even more lately because a friend of mine recently moved to a different country and is feeling lonely. She shared with me that when she feels lonely she usually thinks that if she just had a boyfriend she would be happier. She wouldn’t be lonely. She quickly stops these thoughts because she knows it’s not true. And she has people in her life to tell her that those thoughts are not true.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been many, many times over the years when I have wanted nothing more than the man of my dreams to just walk through the freaking door already. I have felt that same loneliness and thought that the only solution is a husband. I desire to get married. I do. I have come to the point though, where I am so satisfied with where God has placed me that when I feel lonely I don’t immediately think, “If only I had a man.” I think, what can I do to enjoy this life I have been given? Who can I spend time with? Who can I encourage and who can I ask for encouragement from?

Please, don’t hear what I am not saying and get it all twisted. There are times when I am more actively pursuing a relationship and there are times when I am too busy to care. I am open to a relationship. I just don’t need one to be fulfilled. I want one. I just don’t want it to make me happy. Because I already am happy.

As a single, Christian woman in my early thirties, I am not an anomaly. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with me.

I know because my daddy says…

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If You Ever

I really don’t like going a whole week without a post. From wordless wednesday to wordless wednesday = NOT COOL.

I was asked to come up with a quote of inspiration for the yearbook this year.

“Most things are better experienced, not googled. Keep learning!”

I thought it was pretty good. It reminded me about how I do Google EVERYTHING though. I mean, I do have to keep them in business since my sis works for that company, but I guess there are some things I just don’t need to look up. Or I could grab a dictionary and thumb through some pages. I need to get off this computer once in a while, haha. And yet here I sit— writing.

I have come to realize more and more how writing is what makes me tick. It is the one hobby I started when I was little (what? writing is a hobby, I wrote outside of assigned writing work in school, so there) and never, ever gave up.

My students and I read a poem last week (author unknown, which makes me sad as I would love to give them credit!). It went like this:

If you ever ever ever ever ever
If you ever ever ever meet a whale
You must never never never never never
You must never never never touch its tail:

For if you ever ever ever ever ever,
If you ever ever ever touch its tail,
You will never never never never never,
You will never never meet another whale.

I just thought this was the cutest thing ever. Writing is AWESOME.

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[Photo from summer trip to Detroit]

Writing speaks to people.

On Jee Young’s Visit to Korea!

Jee Young and I were destined to be friends. I know that people say that all the time. But with her and me… it’s true. If we hadn’t met randomly my first month in Korea at a church picnic, we would have met volunteering through Jerusalem Ministries three months later. If we hadn’t re-met through Jerusalem Ministries, I just know that God would have found another way to bring us together.

She is my partner in crime when it comes to education and she is one of my best friends. After four years of teaching in Korea she started a new adventure in Singapore, at one of the top international schools in the world.

But…of course, she couldn’t stay away from Korea for too long, she has family here! Having her stay with me for two and a half weeks was… relaxing. Jee Young is a calm spirit, and a very organized person (the exact opposite of me). I didn’t feel like I had to “play host” or make sure she had every minute of her vacation planned out, because she had that covered.

I did cook breakfast for her once. Having her sit in the living room while I played chef was WEIRD. Over the past three years, she was always the one cooking for me, haha! Hey, people can change^^

During her visit we got to eat a lot of amazing food (a few examples would be…brick oven pizza, frypan-yes I count that as amazing-, shabu-shabu, and kimbab- according to jee young who missed korean food like WHOA), celebrate christmas and the one year blogiversary of our educational blog twoapplesaday, we also hosted a new year’s eve themed party, had a board meeting for our future NGO, visited Bukchon Village, took A LOT of pictures, watched many movies, went shopping, played board games, and just chilled. She blogged a ton while she was here too over at her blog, http://teachtoinspire.wordpress.com

The following is just a bunch of pictures of her (and some of me), I mean, why not?!

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I plan on blogging in more detail about a few of the things we did… until then!

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thirty-two months

I love projects. I am currently working on one with three other members of my church. It is a writing project, and I am not going to tell you what it is—- yet— but it is EXCITING. The nature of this project has forced enouraged me, to look back upon ALL of my past blog entries.

I have been blogging for 32 months. I counted, because- whoa, I thought, that is crazy. I started when I was 24… I am now 27. It is just so weird to think that three years of my life have been documented by my words and pictures, on the web. I am not going to lie. I LOVE IT. Blogs are a billion times more organized than I am (well… just refer back to that picture of my desk a couple posts ago and you will know where I am coming from) and it is pretty neat to see my writing change, my photography improve, AND if  anyone ever doubts my black belt— I have all the blog entries and pictures to prove all of my belt tests (not that anyone would ever doubt me).

I am feeling completely euphoric right now. I sit here (my desk still messy) with the rest of this week and next week all planned out (THAT NEVER HAPPENS) listening to Sungha Jung swipe his incredibly talented fingers across a guitar and think about how I get to go to a cafe before my tutoring gig and read. I have time to READ.

Do something fun/that you like to do, RIGHT NOW. It will make you happy.

you know you are a blogger when…

you know you are a blogger when…

  • the first thing you do when you sit down in a tiny coffee shop (or open up your computer at your desk) is start composing a blog post in your head
  • while you take pictures of your life you start thinking of a blog post to write about around them (that is, the pictures)
  • you think of a blog post and realize you want pictures to go with it so you stage them
  • you think “I could blog about that!”… and then you do
  • you compile a list of blog post titles for fun
  • people/your friends send you things to blog about
  • you keep track of how many times you blog a week and become really sad when it is less than two
  • you freak out when you see “so and so has commented” or “so and so has liked” your post (I have been blogging for years, and yes I still get excited!)
  • you check your stats regularly (I KNOW I am not the only one)
  • you love reading other people’s blogs
  • you create lists and then write a blog post just of that list (ahem…)

 

The slice of life challenge is hosted every Tuesday by Two Writing Teachers.

ringing in the new year with a new blog :)

2.02.2012

Yesterday (oops, this post is totally late, I had to wait until I uploaded photos!) was the official launch date of:

The spark that ignited this flame came from a great friend of mine, who also happens to be a co-worker, Jee Young. She came to me with the idea of co-authoring a blog last fall and we have been planning and preparing ever since.

I am completely and totally psyched to be doing this with a colleague that I admire and trust. Jee Young has taught me so much over the past two years, and I can’t wait to share what I have learned with the education community! Click on the picture above and check out our blog, you will not be disappointed^^

Here are pictures from preparing for the launch, and then the LAUNCH PAR-TAY! We have a great group of supportive friends (most of whom are ALSO co-workers, DUDE teachers rock my socks off!):

I am so lucky to have Jee Young in my life, check out our blog… do it! Do it now! (Which means you have to scroll back up and click on the two apples icon, which I made… woot woot!)

Swallow the Ocean

The title of this post is the same title of the book I just finished reading (and if you are wondering how I have time to read, well… I ride the subway a lot okay?!), and it was a good book. So, I might not have time to enthrall all of you with well crafted blog posts… but my family and friends seem to be providing me with all the material I need.

I DO have a lot to say and entertain everyone with, because I have never been so busy in my whole life (and coming from someone who held four jobs down while taking 17 credit hours during a semester of college, that is saying something)… and that may be the reason why I have no time to do it.

For now… check out my friends post about us! (ArtBox is exactly what the name implies!)

My Friend’s Blog- CLICK HERE, DO IT!